I've always loved Christmas, until the last couple of years. The sadness and pain that came with infertility and the miscarriage really got worse around the holidays. Two years ago, I didn't even put up a tree because it was too painful.
And then last year, things started looking up! I still didn't put up a tree though because I was hugely pregnant and about to pop and could barely walk so there was no way I was messing with any decorations, let alone a stupid tree that I had to put together limb by limb! But we did take advantage of after Christmas sales and I got myself a bigger, easier, pre-lit tree that has sat in our garage for almost a year, until last weekend.
The tree and decorations are up because I'm excited to celebrate Christmas this year! I've been buying gifts and working on the menu for our Christmas celebrations.
But all of that went to the bottom of my to-do list when I was watching Connor last night.
Of course I grabbed my camera, but before that...I just sat and watched him explore the Christmas tree.
They have tried playing with the tree a few times and we tell them no and they listen, most of the time. But last night, he was just barely touching the lights, so I just let him do it for a little bit.
I know everyone is going to get so sick of me saying this over and over, but these are the moments I've waited what seems like forever for! I get to watch my babies experience their first Christmas. We get to start new traditions as a family and our house will FINALLY feel like "Home". Yes, I'm going to get all mushy, I can't help it.
I know they will never have another First Christmas again, so I'm trying my hardest to enjoy it with them. My house may be a disaster, the laundry will pile up, and I will slack on cooking dinner because I will make the time to sit down and play with my babies, and hold them a minute longer than normal.